Reading Secrets

Name: Reading Secrets: A Queer Inheritance of Life & Scripture
Availability: InStock
Author: Malcolm Himschoot
ISBN: 9781963511147

A Queer Inheritance
of Life & Scripture

by Malcolm Himschoot

A trans pastor's fascination with scriptures inherited from his closeted, fundamentalist father.

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Book cover of Reading Secrets by Malcolm Himschoot

From Exile to Inheritance

A Trans Pastor’s Journey Through Grief, Faith, and Family

When his dad died, Malcolm Himschoot inherited his father’s Bibles. He chose to re-read them, examining his dad’s notes in the margins, teasing out the details of his upbringing and gender identity amid the structures and forms of biblical narratives.

For Malcolm, coming out meant exile and verbal excommunication; he embodied all his gay father tried to hide. In Reading Secrets, he travels alongside the ghost of his father, exploring their inherited homophobia and the American culture that shaped their triumphs and tragedies.

With these poetic and evocative meditations, Malcolm transforms the Scripture he inherited, and finds a place in it for himself.

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"You will find comfort in these pages"

"This unique memoir in verse is both balm and struggle. Much like the Scripture stories woven throughout, Himschoot faces all of it with bravery and an unflinching honesty. If you’ve struggled with family lineages, your own story, or the Christian story you will find comfort in these pages."

Shannon TL Kearns Author of No One Taught Me How to Be A Man and Reading the Bible through Queer Eyes

"Beautiful and raw..."

"Beautiful and sad and raw. Like life."

Jan Everhart Emerita Professor of Religion, Simpson College

"Worth reading"

"It's about time someone recorded the bullshit going on in church ministry! This book is worth reading!"

Major Griffin Gracy Author of Miss Major Speaks

"Charged with insights..."

"Charged with insights and a powerfully compact way of expressing the soul’s work"

Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove Author of Reconstructing the Gospel: Finding Freedom from Slaveholder Religion

"Grace-filled and will touch your heart..."

"This memoir is grace-filled and will touch your heart, mind and soul. Be prepared to be opened to gratitude for the More that cannot be confined."

Rev. Martie McMane Author of Living Grace: Spiritual Growth in the Every Day World

"A story that moves like water and wind and roots through soil."

"In Reading Secrets, Malcolm queers the forms and functions of memoir, biblical interpretation, and poetry to offer a landscape of story that moves like water and wind and roots through soil. The power of this movement is subtle and deep...with a tenderness of heart that is truth-telling, vulnerable, and compassionate. Malcolm...can help all of us build the capacity to hold the complexities of our inheritances necessary for collective liberation."

Rev. Anne Dunlap Author of Building Up A New World: Congregational Organizing for Transformative Impact

Prologue

An introduction to me,
my ancestors, my children

The trees are sending down their sugar

to the roots.

They are no longer sending up

to the leaves new energy.

They have what they need.

Listen with me.

What I need, I need to say to my white

children first.

Raised in church. Touching the Bible.

Listen with me.

My children, it is not anyone else’s job

to deal with our discomfort, our ghosts,

something like guilt or rage we keep in our skin.

Generations injured intervene

before another generation’s injured.

The goal is something embodied, something real.

Dehumanizing disparity undone.

Food shared. Bodies healed.

One means to the goal is family stories

shared. Secrets aired.

Anxiety becomes curiosity.

Curiosity becomes love.

What is at stake is not innocence.

We are not innocent.

The work must not start from self-deception.

God can do more with truth.

We must lose something precious, to find

our souls instead.

So it starts with those who listen.

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About the Author

A Story of Dedication and Community

Malcolm wrote portions of his own story into creative nonfiction to resist authoritarianism in family, faith, and culture. Malcolm is currently a minister and educator with the United Church of Christ, and has been public as a trans man since 2004.

He was featured in the indie film Call Me Malcolm, co-produced by Filmworks! and the United Church of Christ. This documentary about gender diversity, community, and call to ministry has shown nationwide and internationally since 2004, and garnered queer film festival audience awards and praise.

Events, Bookings & Community Conversations

What’s going on, and how can I get involved?

If you know a group that wants to host Malcolm for an event connecting literature, social change, faith, family, and spirituality across generations, please be in touch.

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FAQ

If you're wondering about the book, click to explore.

What is this book about?

It’s a poetic and deeply personal exploration of faith, identity, and inherited belief. The book reflects on Scripture through a queer, trans lens—and on the cultural and familial forces that shaped both the author and his closeted father.

Who is Malcolm Himschoot?

Rev. Malcolm Himschoot is a transgender man, a writer, educator, and minister in the United Church of Christ. His work focuses on inclusive theology, social justice, and reclaiming sacred texts for marginalized communities.

Where can I buy or order the book?

You can order Reading Secrets through Bookshop.org or visit your favorite bookstore. Direct links are available throughout this website.

Is this book only for LGBTQ+ readers?

No. While it centers queer experience, Reading Secrets invites readers of all backgrounds into a journey of truth-telling, healing, and spiritual reflection.

Can I host Malcolm Himschoot for a book talk or event?

Yes. Events are being scheduled at bookstores, universities, and progressive churches. To inquire about an author visit, conversation, or community gathering, please reach out through the contact form on this site.

Is this a religious book?

Yes—and also no. While Reading Secrets engages deeply with Scripture, it is not a book of doctrine or persuasion. It’s a spiritual memoir, offering creative reflections for anyone interested in the intersections of faith, identity, and truth—regardless of their background or beliefs.

What inspired you to write this book?

The book was born out of a need to reconcile love and loss, belief and betrayal. Malcolm writes through the lens of a son, a minister, and a witness to how deeply faith and identity can shape—or distort—our relationships.

What kind of reader would connect with this book?

Anyone interested in stories of spiritual transformation, LGBTQ+ inclusion, intergenerational healing, or poetic nonfiction will find something here. It speaks to seekers, survivors, theologians, activists, and artists alike.

Does the book criticize Christianity?

Reading Secrets does not aim to criticize, but rather to reflect honestly on the painful ways Christianity has been used—and misused—in families and institutions. It offers an invitation to reimagine faith as a space for healing and truth.

Is the writing academic, poetic, or personal?

All three. Malcolm blends theological reflection with lyrical prose and personal memory. The style is accessible but richly textured, grounded in lived experience.