When his dad died, Malcolm Himschoot inherited his father’s Bibles. He chose to re-read them, examining his dad’s notes in the margins, teasing out the details of his upbringing and gender identity amid the structures and forms of biblical narratives.
For Malcolm, coming out meant exile and verbal excommunication; he embodied all his gay father tried to hide. In Reading Secrets, he travels alongside the ghost of his father, exploring their inherited homophobia and the American culture that shaped their triumphs and tragedies.
With these poetic and evocative meditations, Malcolm transforms the Scripture he inherited, and finds a place in it for himself.
Order Your Copy"What an amazing work of art! A whole lot of people--all should read this right now."
"Reading this book has become an invitation—an open door into a conversation of healing. It reaches into the places of woundedness within the soul and gently (and sometimes not so gently) offers a way of re-grounding and re-assuring one’s present being and future becoming."
"Beautiful and sad and raw. Like life."
"It's about time someone recorded the bullshit going on in church ministry! This book is worth reading!"
"Charged with insights and a powerfully compact way of expressing the soul’s work”
"This memoir is grace-filled and will touch your heart, mind and soul. Be prepared to be opened to gratitude for the More that cannot be confined."
"This unique memoir in verse is both balm and struggle. Much like the Scripture stories woven throughout, Himschoot faces all of it with bravery and an unflinching honesty. If you’ve struggled with family lineages, your own story, or the Christian story you will find comfort in these pages."
"In Reading Secrets, Malcolm queers the forms and functions of memoir, biblical interpretation, and poetry to offer a landscape of story that moves like water and wind and roots through soil. The power of this movement is subtle and deep...with a tenderness of heart that is truth-telling, vulnerable, and compassionate. Malcolm...can help all of us build the capacity to hold the complexities of our inheritances necessary for collective liberation."
Grief, identity, and the sacred stories that shape us.
I too have read the Bible.
This is a book about the way I read the Bible
and the way my dad read the Bible.
It was the only book he ever read.
Except those small tracts printed
on soft paper and kept in his wallet.
I am a transgender man.
He never named me as his son,
though I introduced myself to him that way.
That is a clue to this story.
When I was lonely, I tried to find my own language.
This is a little book about the Bible.
Stories of need and innocence, guilt and hunger,
sensuality and prescribed custom,
anger and hate,
justice and injustice,
life and death.
That’s the Bible.
And also citizenship and slavery,
longing and landlessness,
government and insurgency.
In this lore, Love and Wisdom can be trusted
and suspected in equal measure.
What is named might not be what is named.
Who is named might change their name.
God became Jesus, and Jesus became Christ,
and the Spirit moaned
and grew a church.
The Bible is that story, and …
Listening, take a breath.
The story continues.
Somewhere along the way I heard a prayer.
I heard my own name and a name for God.
Jesus said, “I have no place to lay my head.” Matthew 8
But we make nests and holes to smother
and bury him in.
This is a little book about the Bible.
Big words may not fit.
—
The Bible is a place. People have lived there.
Betwixt, between, and beyond genders,
people have lived there.
Around corners. In cracks.
Kept secret.
Some people find hospitality in the Bible.
Some do not.
If you stay, or if you struggle,
you might belong to this place.
You might belong to this story.
If you're wondering about the book, click to explore.
It’s a poetic and deeply personal exploration of faith, identity, and inherited belief. The book reflects on Scripture through a queer, trans lens—and on the cultural and familial forces that shaped both the author and his closeted father.
Rev. Malcolm Himschoot is a transgender man, a writer, educator, and minister in the United Church of Christ. His work focuses on inclusive theology, social justice, and reclaiming sacred texts for marginalized communities.
He was featured in the indie film Call Me Malcolm, co-produced by Filmworks! and the United Church of Christ. This documentary about gender diversity, community, and call to ministry has shown nationwide and internationally since 2004, and garnered queer film festival audience awards and praise.
You can Order Your Copy Reading Secrets through Bookshop.orgor visit your favorite bookstore. Direct links are available throughout this website.
No. While it centers queer experience, Reading Secrets invites readers of all backgrounds into a journey of truth-telling, healing, and spiritual reflection.
Yes. Events are being scheduled at bookstores, universities, and progressive churches. To inquire about an author visit, conversation, or community gathering, please reach out through the contact form on this site.
Yes—and also no. While Reading Secrets engages deeply with Scripture, it is not a book of doctrine or persuasion. It’s a spiritual memoir, offering creative reflections for anyone interested in the intersections of faith, identity, and truth—regardless of their background or beliefs.
The book was born out of a need to reconcile love and loss, belief and betrayal. Malcolm writes through the lens of a son, a minister, and a witness to how deeply faith and identity can shape—or distort—our relationships.
Anyone interested in stories of spiritual transformation, LGBTQ+ inclusion, intergenerational healing, or poetic nonfiction will find something here. It speaks to seekers, survivors, theologians, activists, and artists alike.
Reading Secrets does not aim to criticize, but rather to reflect honestly on the painful ways Christianity has been used—and misused—in families and institutions. It offers an invitation to reimagine faith as a space for healing and truth.
All three. Malcolm blends theological reflection with lyrical prose and personal memory. The style is accessible but richly textured, grounded in lived experience.
Advance review copies (ARCs) and media kits are available upon request. Please use the contact form to specify your outlet, podcast, or publication.
A Spiritual Journey Written in Verse: Promotional video by Catalyst Press
Malcolm wrote portions of his own story into creative nonfiction to resist authoritarianism in family, faith, and culture. Malcolm is currently a minister and educator with the United Church of Christ, and has been public as a trans man since 2004.
He was featured in the indie film Call Me Malcolm, co-produced by Filmworks! and the United Church of Christ. This documentary about gender diversity, community, and call to ministry has shown nationwide and internationally since 2004, and garnered queer film festival audience awards and praise.
Journey with Malcolm Himschoot as he reclaims the Scripture that exiled him, transforming its secrets into a story of truth, love, and belonging
Order Your CopyEvents are planned around the country at bookstores, college campuses, and progressive churches.
If you know a group that wants to host Malcolm for an event connecting literature, social change, and spirituality over generations, please be in touch.
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